Joint ventures: How to navigate finances as a couple.

There comes a time in every relationship when finances will come to the fore. Whether it’s opening up a joint bank account to pay for your shared pooch, saving for a big-ticket item like a holiday or a house, or amicably parting ways (and dividing up assets) – setting yourself up for financial success in your relationship is an important step. Here’s what you can do to get on the same page.

Have the ‘money talk’.

For many couples, money can be a sticky topic, but it’s a necessary conversation to have. In fact, it could be the key to understanding your partner better, Gemma Mitchell, financial advisor at Cultiver Financial Consulting says. 

‘Finances tend to be a very common conflict in relationships and it’s because everyone’s values, experiences and attitudes towards money differ,’ she explains. 

The solution? Communicate your goals and values, and genuinely take the time to understand why things are important to each other, says Gemma. You might not value spending money on the same things, but you should be able to find a compromise that allows you to land somewhere in the middle.

How to talk about money with your partner.

Psychologist Nahum Kozak at Lighthouse Relationships says it can be helpful to give your partner a heads up that this is a conversation you’d like to have. ‘That way they’ll have an opportunity to think about their own views on finance, and it’s a great starting point for a successful conversation,’ says Nahum.

When you do sit down together, how you speak is as important as the topics you’ll be discussing.

Nahum’s tips for a productive discussion about finances are:

Manage your communication style.

Harsh communication will be reciprocated and will be ineffective, leading the other to be defensive or to shut down.

Be aware of your body language.

More than half of our intention is communicated through body language. ‘Consider sitting at the same level, leaning forward to show interest in your partner’s perspective.’

Watch your tone.

Take the time to speak gently and with a tone that invites your partner to listen.

Choose your words carefully.

Use language that expresses your interest in a genuine discussion where both parties can contribute their wants and needs.

Talk regularly about money.

Key transition times – like moving in together, when you’re considering major joint purchases, or if you decide to have a baby – are often a good segue into discussions about finances, says Nahum.
 
Another strategy is to schedule regular, small chats about finances to ensure you remain on the same page and continue to chase financial goals that are important to each party.

Tips for saving money as a couple.

Tailor your budget.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to budgeting as a couple. Rather, find what works for your duo through trial and evolution.

Budgets are personal – after all, not everyone is at the stage in life where they’re wondering how to save for a house deposit. That said, there are a number of common situations that pop up when couples are considering how best to budget together.

Talk about debt.

Get on the same page with your goals and have a clear vision of why you’re taking action, says Gemma. ‘Debt often carries a sense of shame, so it’s crucial to be open with each other and create a supportive environment.’ 

Find what’s fair.

It’s unlikely both parties earn the same amount of money, so when a couple’s goal is to save money, it can be tricky to figure out how to contribute evenly. If there’s a significant disparity in earnings, Gemma suggests contributing a percentage of each income to savings rather than a 50/50 split. That way both parties are fairly impacted by the same financial commitment to save money. 

Become a team.

Deciding whether to merge your banking into a joint bank account or joint savings account is often one of the first decisions a couple will face. But Gemma says you don’t necessarily have to combine all aspects of your finances to be a financial team. You can work towards the same goals while keeping your finances separate, says Gemma. 

If joining bank accounts is what works for you, she suggests it’s important both parties have complete access to and transparency regarding their finances, knowing where everything is and participating in decision-making together. 

Navigating a one-income budget.

There may come a time when your budget will be based solely on one person’s income, whether because one partner can’t work for a period of time, or you’ve welcomed a new baby and one of you is on parental leave.

‘Having one partner out of the paid workforce can place a strain on things. Talking about different “what if” scenarios before they arise can help reduce conflict if they do play out,’ says Gemma. 

If possible, plan for things like parental leave. That way you can actively build in a buffer for expenses and a decent emergency fund.

‘Extended periods out of paid employment can have a huge impact on retirement savings too,’ says Gemma. She suggests factoring in superannuation contributions to your finances. ‘There are several incentives for contributing to your own or your spouse’s superannuation, so talk to your super fund about which contribution would be best for you.’

When you don’t see eye to eye.

Couples don’t always agree, and people often have strong views around money. Some people see it as something to be enjoyed – life is short – while others will squirrel away as much as they can to feel secure. 

If you find yourself on an entirely different page to your partner, Nahum says it can be helpful to consider whether the issue is different dreams around finance, an inability to communicate and come to a good compromise, or entirely incompatible financial aims.

‘Whatever the issue, take time to identify common ground,’ says Nahum. ‘Ask what your partner needs and why it’s important to them’.

How to part ways (financially speaking).

Sometimes things simply don’t work out and a couple decides to part ways. So, how do you break up amicably when it comes to finances?

‘While seeking legal advice is crucial, striving for a fair division of assets together can save time and a lot of money,’ Gemma says. 

If you’re struggling to find clarity around how to manage the division of assets, guidance from a finance professional or mediator can help, particularly when it comes to objectivity. 

‘Mediation is a great option that allows both parties to negotiate respectfully and reach a mutually agreeable settlement,’ Gemma says.  

No matter where you are in your relationship, talking about money and getting a clear view of your financial situation as a couple can only lead to a better understanding of one another, and potentially a stronger relationship.

If you want to start saving towards a common goal but need a little help, try our Budget Planner tool to get you started, and our Savings calculator to help you understand a realistic time frame for your goals.

Kickstart saving as a couple with HomeME.

If you have a joint savings goal for a holiday, a house, or a shared Harley Davidson, HomeME is there for your big couple savings goals.  

Find out more about HomeME