7 things that run through your head when you’re hit with an ATM fee.

Author: ME

Published at: 10/12/2016 5:47:47 PM


You know the drill: you’re just looking to get a little walking around money, so you can live life, buy stuff and generally be you.

Then it happens. Your heart drops. Your temperature rises. Time slows.

This isn’t your ATM: and whoever owns this cash monster wants to take $2 of your hard-earned cash to continue your transaction. It’s time to consider your options – and indulge in a little ATM rage.


1. List better things you could do with $2




Vending machine chips. Half a coffee. Something weird from the $2 shop. At least 1.5 packets of mi goreng. So many better things


2. Mentally catalogue every ATM within a two kilometre radius



I’m pretty sure I’ve seen an ATM up the back of that off-brand convenience store about three blocks over. It might even belong to my bank.



3. Practice your busking skills




I could do performance art? Play the spoons? How long would it take to get enough pity-cash together for a pie and a pint?


4. Rejig your schedule 




It’s only an extra 30 minutes to walk to the next ATM. I won’t miss the whole birthday dinner.


5. Read up on safecracking





That’s MY money in there. No jury in the land would convict. (Don't actually do this)


6. Plan a guerrilla campaign of ATM destruction 




How much time would I get for taking out an ATM? Worth it?


7. Rather than going hard, go home




I know one place where I won’t need a cent – at home, on the couch in trackies, marathoning Netflix. 


Graciously give in, hit ‘accept’, and inwardly vow revenge




Okay, ATM, you win this round. *Swallows pride* *Embraces fate* *Accepts fees*